I don’t want it.
I don’t like it.
But I feel like I’ve earned my Doctorate in Struggling these last 4 1/2 years since my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty. My struggles before his death all pale in comparison.
If I got a doctorate in this area, my thesis would be, ” As we persevere with faith through our struggles, we grow, we mature.”
God tells us through James this morning that we can become wise through our trials. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like the wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” James 1: 5 & 6.
Its a fact – God gives a generous amount of wisdom to all of us who ask but we need to believe we have received it. Too often we ask for wisdom but then doubt that God has given it to us. So we don’t use it. We don’t accept that we can now make a wiser choice. We ignore the wisdom God has given us and continue to make the wrong decisions, going down a crooked path which often takes us to more trials.
This is not what God wants for us. This is not what he wants for me.
I have asked God repeatedly for more wisdom as I deal with the explosive tragedy that blew my world apart when my son was killed. And God has given it to me. He also revealed to me how he had prepared me for this tsunami beforehand by drawing me to himself through his Word. He has taught me that the only way to survive – and thrive – through the struggles with loss and grief that are now a permanent part of my life is to stay close to him.
I have learned just how dependent I need to be on God. I can’t do this on my own.
And that is very wise.
Thank you, Abba Father.