So Many Mysteries

I read the entire Bible every year but I will never understand it all.  You will never understand it all.

How do we live our lives with these mysteries?

For me, one of the keys to having peace and contentment is realizing that there are aspects of God’s complex creation and plan that I will never understand.  There are “things too wonderful for me to know” Job 42: 3.

You figured it out thousands of years ago, Job!

Remembering and focusing on the truth God gives us in his Word that is very clear and have been etched into my soul by the Holy Spirit helps me be okay about the mysteries that are beyond the ability of my 3 pound brain to comprehend.

Here are some of the bedrock truths that I review in my mind when I start to worry or doubt or question –

God is good, all the time. My circumstances don’t change any of these facts.

God is all-powerful – nothing is impossible for him.

God is a perfect Father who loves me with a perfect love.  He is always walking beside me.

God is working all things out for my good.  He wants the best for me.

God’s timing is perfect.

Being confident of these truths, I know the best response to whatever happens to me is to trust God.  I can ask ‘Why?’ and God is patient with me, but there is wisdom in making trust my first response, not questions.

I have discovered that my life stays more closely aligned with God when I automatically and genuinely trust him with everything – because there is so much that I will never understand.

I trust you, Abba Father.

It Has Been Decided

These last 8 1/2 years have been the most difficult and painful time of my life.  My son, David Glasser, was a Phoenix Police officer who was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016.  My world blew up on that day.

dave-and-grandma-at-northwestern

One of the ways God has comforted me is through this truth – ” A person’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.” Job 14:5.

God has already decided which day will be the last day of your life here on earth and mine.

Knowing this helped me let go of my mother when she passed away 21 years ago.  We had a very close relationship and she was my role-model for how a Christian woman lives her life faithful to God – all the way to her last breath here on earth.  I realized, if God wanted her in heaven with him, then that’s what I wanted for her.

davey-and-grandma-rolls

Nineteen years ago I found myself in ICU with twelve blood clots in my lungs – a life-threatening situation.  God told me clearly that I wasn’t going to die from that and I didn’t – even though 5 doctors told me the blood clots should have killed me.

It just wasn’t my day.

I know that God has reasons for picking May 18 as Davey’s final day here on earth. I may never understand those reasons but I trust God.   And, since God wants him in heaven, that’s what I want for him.

Knowing that this date was determined before Davey was born helps me avoid needless regrets…like –

  • I wish he hadn’t gone on that call.davey-and-mom
    • It wouldn’t have mattered.  This was his day.
  • I wish he hadn’t gone to work that day.
    • It would have happened no matter what he was doing.
  • I wish he hadn’t been a police officer.
    • He was born to be a police officer and he died honorably, serving his community and doing what he loved to do.  He wouldn’t have wanted to live or die any other way.

It was decided.  There is no ‘wishing’ something else had happened.  God decreed the number of Davey’s days here on earth and then he took Davey home.

Now, standing a foundation of God’s love and strength and grace, I know I have been left on this earth for a purpose.  God has a plan.  I am committed to following where he leads….until the day arrives that is already decided for me.

Meanwhile, through the tears, I am focusing on loving God and loving people.

A bigger chunk of my heart is now in heaven with you, Abba Father.

Do Not Listen

Do you ever feel surrounded by lies?

Do you automatically question news you read on Facebook or hear on TV?

When you see graphs and numbers and statistics, do you wonder if any of it is accurate?

I do. I question any news I hear – all of it. I don’t believe a lot of things that people tell me. If it’s important, I research it myself looking for corroborating information from several credible sources.

I recently fact-checked a story about a dog who reportedly saved hundreds of people by leading them out of one of the towers during the attack on 9/11. Hundreds of ‘likes’ in Facebook. I liked it but wondered how I could not have heard about this before. So I checked it out. It was not true. It is what is called an ‘urban legend’. The true story is a guide dog led his owner out of the tower. Great job! But it grew to this big thing that wasn’t true. Since then I have started fact-checking many ‘interesting’ things I see and most of them are not true.

Being lied to by people we should be able to trust is not a new thing. God spoke very clearly about some of the liars in Jeremiah’s day. “Do not listen to the prophets who say, ‘Very soon now the articles from the LORD’s house will be brought back from Babylon.’ They are prophesying lies to you. Do not listen. ” Jeremiah 27: 16 – 17. God goes on to say that the articles of the temple would stay in Babylon until he brought them back. Ultimately he was saying that it wasn’t happening until he made it happen and it wasn’t happening now.

I no longer automatically trust leaders – any kind of leader. They all have agendas which can make them wander from the truth if they aren’t very careful. The real pandemic during the pandemic were the big lies announced to the world like it was truth. Election years are the very worst.

I question things that I hear come out of pastor’s mouths during sermons. I’m in my 14th consecutive year of reading the entire Bible and, if I don’t remember reading something that is said in a sermon, I go home and research it. Most of the time it’s a phrase or a situation that I’ve never fully understood before and it’s great – I learned something. I’ve had a few times when I didn’t agree with how the pastor used a scripture especially when a single verse is not used in context with the verses around it.

The one source I never question is the Bible. It is the Living Word of God. I question people’s interpretations of scripture but not what God has actually said. God is perfect and he doesn’t make mistakes. The Bible is as relevant today as it was when it was written.

And God is saying, “Do not listen.” There has never been a time in my life where this direction is more important than right now. There has never been a time where asking God to help me discern the truth has been as high of a priority for me.

Because I feel like I’m surrounded by lies. Surrounded by information that is being manipulated by people who are putting personal goals of power, prestige or wealth ahead of the greater good.

And God is saying, ‘Do not listen.”

Not Just Lip Service

“You are always on their lips but far from their hearts.” says Jeremiah (12:2) as he talks to God.

He was talking about the people of Judah…..

but is he also describing you and me?

Do you talk about God while keeping your heart safely out of his reach? Do I read God’s Word without letting his truth soak into my heart and mind so he can change me?

Have you experienced God touching your spirit and renewing your mind recently?  Today?  This week? This month?  This year? Are you and I stuck on giving God lip service when what he really wants to do is totally transform our lives?

What will it take for us to open up our hearts…

take that next step…

stop just talking about God but sincerely turn over our lives to him,

and then watch him do something amazing with them?

Today is the day, dear Father.

I am ‘Becoming’

I am ‘becoming’ something.

We are all on the path to ‘somewhere’. I decide what I am becoming and where I’m going by my choices each day. I am going one way or another – I’m not standing still.  If I’m not doing anything new – not growing – then I am moving backward as the world moves forward around me.

When I put my life in my Father God’s hands, he is able to mold me into the person he created me to be. When you put your life in our Father’s hands, he is able to mold you, too, into the person he created you to be.

Isaiah is very clear about this, ” Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are the work of your hand.” 64: 8.

Potter-at-Work1

When I let God change me and transform me, my life becomes a beautiful work of his hands.

I have watched God work in my life for many years – gradually changing my thinking and perspective so it more closely lines up with his.  I have been reading the entire Bible each year for the last 14 years and I continue to reap the benefits of committing this time and effort to my relationship with God.  The better I know his Word, the easier it is to hear God and let him move in my life.  I look forward to many more years of God continuing to refine me – I am confident that his goal is to create a unique masterpiece of my life that brings glory to him.

My life – created by God.

Your life – created by God.

Will we be molded  and shaped by the Master’s hands?

Our choice.

I choose you, Abba Father.

It’s Not a Waste

Sometimes I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time today – or last week – or last year.

How much time did I waste watching TV? How much time did I waste worrying about tomorrow? Worrying about things that never happened? How much time have I wasted looking at my phone or IPad?

What about you? How much time have you wasted lately?

But there is one place in my life where no time is wasted. I know this for fact – when I sit with my Bible open on my lap reading God’s word, studying God’s Word, and listening to God as he helps me figure out how to apply his word to my life, not one second is wasted.

“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater; so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but it will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55: 10-11.

This is great news for all of us and especially ‘achievers’ like me. It is so awesome to know when God’s word goes into my mind, it achieves the purpose God has for it. Of course, I have freedom of choice so I have to choose to listen and I have to choose to obey.

It’s a huge confidence-builder for me to know that when I choose to open my eyes and heart to the word of God, he promises that he will accomplish his desires through me.

I can count on it.

I love knowing that I’m not wasting a second of my time when I spend it with God.

Thank you, Abba Father.

He Loves Us This Much

Seven hundred years before he was born, Isaiah spoke a stunningly accurate prophesy about Jesus.

Here are some of my thoughts and reactions to Isaiah’s prophecy in Isaiah 53: 2-6 –

Jesus was not a good-looking man.  The pictures we have of him where he looks like a movie star are totally inaccurate.

People despised him but he was used to pain and sorrow – that was his life.  A lot of people ignored him and avoided him when possible – especially the religious establishment. Almost everyone he knew either yelled ‘crucify him’ in the end or ran away.

Yet he took on more pain – the pain that was meant for us.  He paid the price for our rebellion and selfishness and anger – all the sins of all the world.

Some people were confused when they saw all the problems Jesus had – they thought God was punishing him.  Their eyes just weren’t open to the truth.

The truth is that Jesus loves us so much that he took all of the punishment that we deserved…

so he could be our Savior…

so we could have peace…..

so we could be healed.

You and I have sinned.  And we keep sinning.

Have I said anything out of frustration or lack of patience today?  Not yet – but it’s early.

Have you thought of anything unkind or unforgiving today?  God also knows our thoughts – that’s a tough one.

Jesus paid the price for all of our sins for all time….

so he could offer us salvation.  For free.  For eternity.

Thank you, Jesus!

I Want to Go Back

I have days when I want to go back in time. I would gladly go back to anytime before my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty.

So much was lost when he died. So much has changed.

Do you ever want to go back?

God speaks to me – and to you – today through Isaiah when he says, “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43: 18-19.

God is doing a new thing in my life and in your’s. He wants our eyes to be focused on today and tomorrow. The past is past.

I have been watching God do an entirely new thing in my life since my son was killed. God has a very different plan than I had for the rest of my life and he is gradually revealing it, one step at a time.

God is making a way in the wilderness that defined my life after Davey was killed. He is leading me to streams which feed my soul. He is guiding me out of the wasteland of grief and pain where I found myself 8 years ago.

The past is past. God wants my ‘now’ to count. He wants your ‘now’ to count.

He is doing a new thing.

He is With Me

God has spoken to me very clearly for the last 8 years as I read through the Bible every year and I get to Isaiah 43:2 & 3.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

Eight years ago my life blew up.   My son, David Glasser was a Phoenix Police Officer, who was killed in the line of duty on May 16, 2016.  The promise of God in this scripture has been very real in my life.

When I am passing through the waves of grief…

*of disappointment…

*of disillusionment…

*of pain….

God is with me.

When I am passing through a river of tears…

*pierced by the shattered pieces of my broken heart.

*trying to figure out how to live with a huge hole in my life…

the river does not sweep over me.  God is with me.

When I am walking through the fire of anger…

* not happy with my reality…..

* trying to understand….

I am not burned.  God is with me.

I am passing through.  I’m not getting stuck in these places.  Everything that happens in my life has first gone through the hands of my Father God.  He has a purpose.

So I will trust him as I pass through the water, the river and the fire.

Thank you for walking closely beside me, Abba Father.

Anything Change Lately?

I don’t understand people who tell me they don’t like change. Change has been constant in my life. How about you? Anything change lately?

I realized that change was going to be one of the few constant things in life pretty early on in this journey so I decided I was going to learn to like it. I adopted a perspective that change is good. Maybe not all good, but there would be parts of it that I was going to like.

When things changed, I also realized that I usually got rid of some of my least favorite things in my past situation. Nice!

I remember God stopping me as I was reading Isaiah 42:10 about 14 years ago when I was facing a big change. “Sing to the LORD a new song.” God spoke to me, telling me he was giving me a new song to sing through this upcoming transition. My daughter had just announced her engagement so my family was changing – again. After their wedding, she and her new husband were moving to Sydney, Australia for a job opportunity.

So my new song was filled with gratefulness to God for her happiness, asking for blessings on their marriage and requesting help in growing my trust in his care for her as she moved so far way.

Then, before the wedding, my daughter was diagnosed with cancer and my new song to God was full of concern along with words of confidence that he is always in control and nothing is impossible for God.

Since then, God has given me many ‘new songs’ as the seasons of my life have changed.

Eight years ago my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix police officer was killed in the line of duty. It is the worst thing that can possibly happen to a parent. God was my Rock in this storm and he gradually wrote a new song in my life of deeper trust in him and empathy for other people whose lives have blown up.

Four years ago, my husband and I moved to Denver after living in Phoenix for over 40 years. Once again, God gave me a new song filled with gratitude for being able to live close to my daughter and her family, praises to God for the beauty of the mountains and dependence on him for guidance with all the new beginnings.

Last year I published a book on Amazon, “Then I Looked Up: Losing a Child, Finding His Legacy of Love.” Ever since that time, God has given me a new song of great conversations with other people who have experienced tragedy, encouragement from people telling me that reading my story helped them in their journey of grief and a better understanding of the purpose of my pain.

As my life continues to change, I am grateful to my Father God for the new songs he gives me.