Holding Onto Faith

2023 is almost over.  It has been a tough and rewarding year for me.

How would you describe your 2023?

In March of 2022 I started writing my book about watching God put the broken pieces of my life back together after my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer, was killed in the line of duty. Losing a child is the most difficult thing a parent can experience.  Writing it all down was an extremely hard and yet cleansing experience.   I have been blogging about Davey’s death for over 7 years…but writing the whole experience was much different. This is the story God had been writing in my life since the awful day in 2016 when Davey was killed – “Then I Looked Up: Losing a Child, Finding His Legacy of Love”

I published my book on Amazon in February of 2023. This has been a year of great conversations with people who have read my book and wanted to tell me how my story helped them process grief and loss in their own lives. It also has been a year of constant interactions about other people’s tragedies. I’m glad God waited 6 years to tell me to write the book because I would not have been ready before for all of the stories of pain and grief I heard this year. I am reminded each time of how many people around me have experienced deep tragedy in their lives. I am so grateful to God for his comfort, wisdom and strength for my tough journey of surviving the death of my child.

My husband experienced a life-threatening heart issue at the end of June 2022 and he has had continuing health problems since then. He had another life-threatening issue in October of 2023 and so the doctor’s visits and procedures still fill his calendar.  I am thankful that the issue in June 2022 did not end his time on earth. I am thankful that the issue in October 2023 also didn’t end his time on earth. It’s evident that the day God has determined would be his last day here has not come yet and I’m grateful.  Again I am reminded how short our lives are and how quickly someone we love can be gone.  We need to love each other well today, it may be all we the time we have.

Now God is speaking to me about 2024.  He has plans.  Call them resolutions, call them goals, call them my ‘words’ for 2023, it’s obvious that God is using these last several days of 2023 to tell me what he wants me to focus on next year.

So God stopped me as Paul talks to Timothy in his first letter to him – “Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, holding on to faith and a good conscience..”  1 Timothy 1: 18 & 19.

How do I fight the battle well 2024?  When I’m connected to God through his Word and through his people, he fights my battles with me – guiding me, encouraging me and giving me victory.

How do you plan to fight the battle well next year?

How do I hold onto the faith in 2024?  I have a hunger that growls in my soul with the desire to grow in my love for and knowledge of God.  I am confident that turning off the TV and putting down my phone so I have more time to read and study God’s Word is the right thing for me to do.   My favorite thing about retirement – other than not having to set an alarm – is having all the time I want to spend with God.

How will you hold onto the faith in 2024?

How do I hold on to a good conscience in 2024?  When I’m in line with God, I know down to the depths of my heart and mind that I’m in the right place.  I feel God’s approval and blessing when I focus on him and what he is calling me to do.

How will you hold onto a good conscience next year?

With God by my side, I’m ready. I’m prepared to do God has planned for me.   So bring on 2024 with all its challenges and opportunities and blessings. 

Thank you, Abba Father.

Prepared

to fight the enemy.

Ready.

Equipped.

Satan is plotting against me every day – watching for the weaknesses in my defense.  Satan is whispering in your ear – do you hear him?  Telling you you’re a loser or encouraging you to make decisions that are going to create negative consequences for you.

It’s a battle.

God has given you and I real armor in order to fight this battle.  He teaches us about how to use it through what Paul tells us in Ephesians 6:

The Belt of Truth needs to be buckled around our waist.  This is what we’re working on right now as we read God’s word – knowing and living the truth.  All the lies swirling around me are not going to change my thinking when I know the Truth.

The Breastplate of Righteousness needs to be in place – protecting our hearts.  I know the right thing to do because I know the Truth. Through the power of the Holy Spirit living within me, I can live in a close relationship with God, never wandering, always feeling his presence.

We must put on the the sandals of peace – always ready to share the Good News of Salvation.  The only real peace any of us will ever find here on earth is in a relationship with Jesus.

We carry our Shield of Faith with us everyday so we can deflect the flaming arrows coming at us from Satan and his army.  He’ll try to  distract me or harm me but my faith will keep me safe and steady.

We put on the Helmet of Salvation to protect our minds from the confusion, anger and evil which surround us.  My perspective is very different from the culture around me because the Spirit of God lives within me.

The Sword of the Spirit is the Word of God.  When we know God’s Word, it is a supernatural weapon for good in our world. Satan has already lost the war.  And when I know and use God’s Word in my thinking, decisions, actions and speech, Satan is reminded of his defeat and he retreats.  Every time.

I used to think that the Sword of the Spirit was my only offensive weapon. I thought the rest were defensive. Now I consider the sandals of peace to be offensive. The Good News of Salvation has power in itself. When I speak or write the message of salvation, the Holy Spirit is unleashed in those words, attacking the schemes of the evil one in the lives of the people who hear it. 

I also consider my Shield of Faith to be offensive. When I pray for others, my shield stretches out to cover them from the flaming arrows of the evil one that are coming their way. When I share my faith story of walking closely with God for a long time, my Shield of Faith reaches out to cover the hearts of those who listen.

We must equip ourselves and be ready to fight the battle each day.

Thank you for your perfect armor, Abba Father.

Paul’s Prayer … and Mine

Paul prays for us in Ephesians 3 and I respond –

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and earth derives its name.” vs 14.

You are awesome, Father.

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he will strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,.. ” vs 16.

Please give us your strength, Father.

“so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.” vs 17.

Make your home in our hearts, Jesus, and teach us how to trust you more.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with the Lord’s holy people to grasp how wide, and long and deep is the love of Christ…” vs 18.

Grow our roots deep in your awesome love, Jesus.

“and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of the fullness of God.” vs 19

Please help us feel and understand the perfect love you pour out on us each day.  Only you can make us complete, Abba.  The power to live a full life comes from you.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,…” vs 20.

We believe, Father, that you can do anything – things beyond what we can imagine –  and that you want to accomplish your plans through us.  We are your hands and feet here on earth.

“to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” vs 20.

Amen.  Love you, Father.

It’s Hard to Accept

It’s not easy to understand and its even harder to accept the grace of God. The rest of our world doesn’t work like this.  It’s totally counter culture.

You and I have a tough time accepting the fact that when we put our faith in Jesus,  God forgives us for all our rebellion and self-centeredness and attempts to do things our way.  He loves us unconditionally – not because we are good, but because he is good.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is a gift from God – not by works so that no one can boast.”  Ephesians 2: 8 & 9.

I memorized this verse many years ago and completed several Bible studies about God’s grace until – gradually – the truth sunk into my soul and changed my perspective.  I started to understand God’s grace.  I started to live in God’s grace.  When my heart and mind finally accepted that it was a free gift – nothing I could earn – my relationship with God flipped upside down.  I stopped trying to be good enough and started living in gratitude for everything God has done for me.

I was raised in a Christian family in a small town in Iowa.  There were a lot of rules for Christians in this small town – what we should wear, what we could and couldn’t do on Sundays, how often we should go to church, and the list goes on.  And everybody watched each other very closely.

When I moved away and matured, I realized that this was a fake, man-made way to ‘look like a Christian’.  I now know there is nothing I can do to earn God’s grace – Jesus did it all.  As I learned to love God without rules, he transformed my heart and my thinking which caused many outward changes to my behavior and priorities.  I gradually ‘looked more like a Christian’ because I was growing closer to God – nothing fake about it.

God’s grace was difficult for me at first to understand and accept, but when I ‘got it’, it rocked my world.

Thank you for your grace, Abba Father.

There’s Something Missing

Conflict.  Emptiness.

Despair.

Our world is full of people who are without hope of things ever getting better.  Its a tragedy that so many people are choosing suicide as a way out of the muck and mire that defines their lives.

I believe that the underlying cause of a lot of this pain is the lack of a relationship with God.  We were all created with a God-sized hole in our soul.  We can try to fill it with all kinds of things – new possessions, people, drugs, and a lot more – but we will still be empty.

I have experienced this.  As a young adult, I wandered from a relationship with God to try out all the ‘fun’ things the world had to offer.  After several years, I was very empty and tired of all those things that looked like fun but were dead ends.  So I started working hard on different goals and got everything on my list in the next 10 years – a great husband, two awesome kids, a good start on a career, a nice house with two cars.  I had everything I wanted but I was still empty…. and very tired.  It took a lot of work all day every day to keep everything going.  If this was all there is to life, if this is what I was going to have to do for the next 60 years, I didn’t want it.

I was going to church at that time, singing in praise band and teaching Sunday School.  But I was not investing time and effort into a personal relationship with God.  So I was empty.

Then God opened my eyes to the fact that what I really wanted and needed was more of him.  As soon as I committed to putting God first in my life, I could feel his love and grace filling up the hole inside of me.  His light began to overflow into all parts of my life, giving me joy and a purpose.

God reconciled me to him.  I had been acting like I was a Christian and I thought I was ‘saved’ but I had never made Jesus Lord of my life.  I didn’t have strong spiritual habits or feel like God and I had a good relationship.  In my mid-thirties I found out what it really means to be ‘saved’.  Jesus redeemed my life from the emptiness and lack of purpose I felt.  Everything in my life changed for the better.  I still had problems and issues but God was right beside me, guiding me and working it all out for my good.

God is on a mission of reconciling with everyone who will put their faith in Jesus.  Accepting salvation through Jesus Christ, making him Lord of our lives is the first step.  It lets us feel his grace and his love and his power moving in our hearts and minds here on earth.

Paul tells you and I today, “But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation – if you continue in your faith, established and firm and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel.” Col. 1:22 & 23

Did you hear that last part?  That’s what I was missing as a young adult.  That’s why I was so empty.  I was not continuing in my faith.  I was not building my life on the Truth.  I was not putting God first and letting him transform me through the hope of the gospel.

After I did these things, God was able to take over my heart, giving me peace and a plan for the rest of my life.

All of the emptiness is gone.

Thank you, Abba Father.

Abba, Father

I am adopted.  God is my father.

I have known this all of my life because my earthly parents raised me in a Christian home.  But this means more to me now than it ever has because both of my biological parents have gone home to heaven.  My earthly father went to heaven when I was only 21 years old and my mother went home 19 years ago.

I remember flying back to Phoenix after my mother’s funeral in Iowa feeling like I was a 47 year-old orphan.  I was very close to my mother and it felt like I had lost my anchor.  I was drifting.

Until I remembered that my Father God had not left me behind.  He had been my heavenly Father my whole life and then he also became my earthly Father when I was 21 and now he had become my only parent on earth.  He is and always will be my anchor.

That’s how I feel about him.  He is here, guiding me and loving me.  My perfect parent.

Paul says to us in Romans 8, “You received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children.  Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father’. For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.” Romans 8:15b & 16.

Amen!  I hear God telling me I am his child and I feel his arms wrapping around me in confirmation.  His Spirit joins with mine in the depths of my soul, confirming that I am his daughter for eternity.

Thank you, Abba Father.

My Ancient Roots

I am  Abraham’s offspring.  I am his child by faith.  If you are a believer like me, you are also a child of the promise.

Paul explains to us that Abraham gave birth to the Jewish nation by the physical birth of Isaac but Abraham’s offspring are all those who believe.  We are Abraham’s children.  “In other words, it is not the children by physical descent who are God’s children, but it is the children of the promise who are regarded as Abraham’s offspring.” Romans 9:8.

As children of the promise, our roots go way back into ancient Biblical times.  When the new year starts in just a couple of weeks, I will be turning back to ‘In the beginning’ as I start with page 1 of the Bible again.  The Old Testament.  Some people question why we study the Old Testament.  Why do we memorize it?  Why is it important to understand God’s words to us in the Old Testament?

It’s extremely important because this is where we come from.  Who we are was created in the Garden of Eden.  The sin and violence which fills our TV screens today is the same rebellion against God that fills the pages of the Old Testament.  We get the chance to know more about God as we read about his interactions with our biblical ancestors before the Light of Jesus full of truth and grace came into our world.

Every year as I read the entire Chronological Bible, I spend 2/3 of the year in the Old Testament.  Most of God’s Word is in the Old Testament.  Why?

Abraham is one of our fathers.

This is where we came from.

Children of the Promise.

Thank you, Abba Father.

More Trials

Our education system is experiencing some huge problems and our children are right in the middle of it. Our culture is plagued by addictions to anything and everything. Our economy is weak and floundering. Hatred and violence are again raising their evil heads in our country. The suicide rate with our young people is significantly growing.

And I haven’t even started listing my personal issues yet.

I need to know – how can I not be crushed and destroyed by the trials and tragedies in my life?

Paul talks to us about how to respond when we have multiple trials and concerns in our lives –

“We are pressed on every side by troubles but we are not crushed.  We are perplexed but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God.  We get knocked down but we are not destroyed.” (2 Cor. 4: 8 & 9)

God is telling me – and you – today that I can persevere because the Spirit of God lives in me, giving me strength, peace and hope.  The Spirit reminds me that this earth is not my home – my forever home is with my loving Father.

This is how the Spirit translates Paul’s words in my head as I read them –
I  may have troubles coming at me from all directions but, when I stay close to God, he will not let me be crushed by them.  I don’t always understand why struggles and issues come my way but I know God is in control and he is a Good Father and I can stand firm on these truths.  Even when Satan hunts me down, God never leaves my side.  I’ve been knocked down by the horrible tragedy of my son being murdered but God has given me the strength to get back up.  He will always fight for me.

I say this knowing there are more storms are coming my way. There are more storms coming your way.  Our struggle is not over. Our problems are not all in the past.  It’s not a question of ‘if’ there are more trials coming, the question is ‘when’.

Thank you, Father, for teaching me how to respond.

Purpose for the Pain

When I make a bad decision, I often experience negative consequences.

When I make a bad decision, you might experience negative consequences, too, because we live together in this broken world.  A couple of examples of this are deadly car accidents and forest fires started by a person throwing a cigarette out of their car window.  There can be huge consequences to many people when one person in these situations makes a bad choice.

People often ask, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”  This is why.  We all experience the pain and results of other people’s bad decisions.  My world blew up when a young man decided to kill my son who was a Phoenix Police Officer.  The hurtful consequences of that choice have been huge, wide-spread and never-ending.

I have learned that my best response to this tragedy has been to turn to God.  I’ve been getting as close to God has I possibly can.  He is my comforter and my anchor in the midst of this continuing dark storm of loss.  And I have watched him pick up the pieces of my broken heart and use them for good.  God has given me the opportunity to share my journey on this extremely tough road of grief in a different blog – Myfamilybleedsblue.com – and many people have told me it has helped them put words to their own experience and not feel so alone. I also published a book on Amazon this year, “Then I Looked Up: Losing a Child, Finding His Legacy of Love.” A big crowd of people have told me that my story has helped them process their own loss in a more positive way.

Paul knew that this was one of the ways God uses bad things that happen to us.  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves received from God”. (2 Cor. 1:3)

It was a huge blessing to me when God gave my pain a purpose.  I can’t change what happened, but I can share the comfort I have received from God in the middle of my heartbreak with others.  I can let God use my ‘bad thing’ and bring something good from it.

Only God can do that.

Thank you, Abba Father.

I Will Never Understand It All

I don’t understand everything I read in the Bible.  I will never understand everything God has already revealed to us.  So it’s very interesting to watch God point out different truths to me each time I read his Word.

Paul says, “we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began.”  (1 Cor. 2:7) He goes on to say that it’s obvious the leaders of his time didn’t get it, otherwise they would not have crucified Jesus.

So Paul didn’t understand everything, either, but he is declaring that what God says is true.  So am I.  And it makes sense to me that there will be mysteries surrounding the Creator of the Universe, the Great I AM.  I’ve only got a 3 pound brain.  No matter how intellectual I am or how long and hard I study, I’m just not going to comprehend it all,  He wouldn’t be God if I could. 

Even more intriguing is the thought that what we have today is Bible 101.  The Beginner’s Bible.  I believe we will continue our studies in classes 201, 301, 401 and 501 and so on in heaven.  The Master himself will be teaching them.

God is much greater and complex than we can possibly imagine.  He has only revealed the tip of the iceberg – there is so much more.

These are the mysteries of God.

I don’t have to understand it all to know that God is good, all the time.  I know nothing is impossible for him.  I know that he wants the best for me and is working all things out for my good.  

I trust that God has all of these answers and will reveal what I need to know when I need to know it.  I know that I’m on the right path when I heading towards God.  

As my trust in God grows, I have watched the number of mysteries in my life shrink. He is always speaking to me – loving me, guiding me and pointing out my next step just at the right time – not a day early.

The God of Mysteries proves over and over to me that he has it all under control – especially when I don’t understand it.

Thank you, Abba Father.