What My Soul is Longing For

What does it mean to be ‘like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season and who leaf does not wither, whatever they do prospers.”? Psalm 1: 3.

This sounds really good.

I want to be like a tree planted by a stream – constantly being fed, never feeling empty,

I want to yield my fruit in season – do all the good things God has planned for me to do, always feeling right on target with the purpose God has for me here.

I want to avoid having my leaves wither – how can I live this marathon of faith well all the way to the end? No burnout, no wandering for me?

And I want to prosper – only in God’s eyes. I don’t need money, fame or people’s acceptance. I’ve got an audience of One. He’s the only one who counts.

God is very clear about how to make this happen in my life. Blessed are those “whose delight is in the law of the Lord and who meditates on his law day and night.” Psalm 1: 2.

When God translates this in my brain I hear his encouragement, telling me to continue to read, study and memorize his Word. I’m in my 15 consecutive year of reading the entire Bible and he’s telling me to keep it up, I’m on the right track. I just don’t read the Bible, I blog about it so I have to think about what I read and apply it to my life. I find his truth as it applies to my life truly ‘delightful’. It’s just what my soul is looking for.

I also participate in 2 to 3 different Bible studies every week so I’m meditating on his word on my own in the morning and several times ‘day and night’ with other people during the week.

God has given me a life-long goal of memorizing scripture. It took me over 6 years because I have a really terrible memory, but God and I partnered up and he has written 2 entire chapters of the book of James on my heart. He uses these words constantly to guide me and let me know he is right beside me.

No wonder I have lost that ’empty’ feeling I used to have! I’m blessed as I watch God grow his fruit in my life. I plan to be reading the entire Bible each year for the rest of my time here on earth so I can end this journey well.

And today, I can feel my Father God cheering me on.

No Hiding

No faking it.

You and I see the outside of people – what they look like, what they wear, where they live and how they act.

God has an entirely different perspective of us – he looks on the inside.  He knows my intentions, my motivations and desires.  He knows what I’m thinking – I don’t have to say anything.

When Samuel was picking who would be king after Saul, God said to him, “People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16: 7.  Knowing this is true challenges me as well as gives me confidence.  I’m glad God sees below my surface – he understands my true feelings.  He knows me better than any human being ever could.

But the fact that God knows my thoughts also challenges me.  Like many of us who have been on this road of faith for a long time, I have gotten better at not saying things I shouldn’t say.  But have I trained my mind to not think them?  Have I let God renew my mind so it doesn’t go where it shouldn’t go?  The honest answer is – sometimes.  There are areas of my life where it is difficult to control my thinking.  There are other situations where I find it pretty easy to leave it all with God.

For example, I found it very easy to ‘let go and let God’ in our pandemic a couple of years ago.   I was obviously NOT in control of anything about that situation so I simply turned any concerns or fears I had about that craziness over to God.  Meanwhile, I did my part of trusting God and obeying him – confident that he was in control of everything.

A woman in one of my Bible study groups recently shared about how much she worries.  She wakes up worrying and goes to sleep worrying – when she can sleep –  and she doesn’t stop worrying in between.  Wow!  I realized that I rarely worry.  When I do, I’ve gotten good at stopping my thoughts and turning the things I’m worried about over to God.  I have learned that my worrying is useless, it simply creates anxiety over things I can’t control.  My prayers, however, are very effective, giving my concerns to God who can actually do something about them.

I’m continuing to trust God with whatever is coming next and it’s comforting to know that God sees this  when he looks into my heart today.

I filter everything that happens to me through the facts that God is good all the time, he loves me with a perfect love and is working everything out for my good.

God has promised and he always keeps his promises.

I Know That Voice

Little Samuel’s story in the Bible is one my favorites.

He heard a voice calling to him in the night and he thought is was the Prophet Eli since he was living with Eli.  So Samuel got out of bed and ran to Eli saying, “Here I am”.

But Eli said, “I did not call, go back and lie down.”

This happened again and then the third time, Eli realized that it was God who was calling the boy.  This time Eli told Samuel, when he heard the voice, to say, “Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.” 1 Samuel 3:9.

When God spoke again, Samuel told him he was listening and God went on to tell Samuel what was soon going to happen.

I’ve got a challenge for you.  The next time you think you might be hearing something from God, say those same words, “Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.”  And then listen.  Listen to what is going through your brain.  Think about what you have been reading in God’s Word and how it applies to your life.  Think about coincidences that have been happening in your life and how they relate to what you’ve been reading.  Remember things that Godly people in your life have said to you recently.

I believe God is regularly trying to break through the cacophony of our culture – especially the electronic bubble where we spend a lot of our time.  He is trying to talk to you and me – guiding us, encouraging us, and teaching us.

Have you had the experience where you are reading God’s Word and suddenly a sentence seems to stick out of the page? It almost looks like it’s in bold print? You reread a phrase a couple of times?  You start to wonder what this means in your life?  Has that phrase always been there?  I don’t remember ever reading that or even hearing anyone talk about that before?  That is God stopping us.  That is God drawing our attention to something specific in his Word so he can speak to us.

That’s what God did today with me.  He stopped me as I was reading to remind me how much I like young Samuel’s story.  Because I know God, I know he is encouraging me to continue to learn how to hear him more and more clearly as I read his Truth.  My knowledge of God is growing and the more I know him, the better I hear him.

How can I be confident that it’s God that’s talking to me and not just my own thinking?  What God says to me will always be consistent with what he says in the Bible.  He will not contradict himself.

I am also 100% sure it’s God talking when he says something I’ve never thought of before and it’s consistent with what I have read in the Bible.  God confirms his guidance to me through my circumstances as well.  When it’s God talking to me, things happening around me will line up with what God is saying.  Sometimes it will be something my husband, my pastor or a friend says.  As I pray about what God is telling me, God will often open up my eyes to how he is moving around me and I’m be able to connect the dots.

When I take time to consider all of these things, God’s directions to me become really clear.

When I work at staying aware of the fact that God is trying to talk to me, it’s not hard to hear him.

I hear you, Abba Father

Whatever I Want

Sounds good – let’s all do whatever works for us.   Then we’ll all be happy.

Or not.

“In those days Israel had no king: everyone did as they saw fit”. Judges 21:25. This is how the book of Judges ends.  It may sound good until we scan back a couple of chapters and realize what they thought was ‘fit’ to do. 

Family members were stealing from each other.  They obviously thought this was an ok thing to do.

Family members were kidnapping each other.  They thought this was ok as well.

Family members were killing each other to the point that they virtually annihilated one of the 12 tribes of Israel.  I wonder how they could possibly think this was ok but they did.  They could rationalize anything. Their moral judgement was quickly spirally into total chaos and confusion.

Because they had no compass.

Sounds familiar? Our current culture has many of these same issues. Why?

When I base what is right and wrong on what I think, I’m in trouble.  Then I’m just like these Israelites – doing what I see fit and letting my standards waiver in whatever direction the wind is blowing.

God has been very clear to you and me on moral boundaries. His Word to us is full of direction and guidance. I might not like all of it. You may not agree with all of it. But that doesn’t change his Word to us.

This picture of the Umbrella of God’s Blessing is stuck my head and reminds me that one of my main goals in life is to stay in line with God. When I obey God and follow the compass he has given me, I am placing my life under his umbrella of blessing. When I don’t obey God and just do what I want to do, I am stepping out from under his umbrella. I can’t expect God to bless my decisions and life when I’m not obeying him.

One example is tithing. If we have put our faith in God, we also want to put our money in his hands. This means tithing. We can’t expect God to bless our finances if we steal for ourselves his portion of all he gives us.

It’s my choice and I choose to stay under the umbrella – every hour of every day.

What do you choose?

Dear Father, I desire to walk in your path of truth.  Please guide me so that your moral standards are what ‘fits’ me best.

I Need To Know

Make it black and white.  Can I hear a voice?  I need to know.

There are so many decisions to make and I want to make the right choices.  What should I do?

How do you know what to do?

A good Christian friend once told me to ‘throw out a fleece’ like Gideon did when I have decisions to make. I thought about it.   In God’s word, I read that God sent an angel to tell Gideon that “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior”,  ” Am I not sending you?”, and  ” I will be with you”. Judges 6: 12-16.  But Gideon still wanted a sign to prove that it really was the LORD speaking to him.  So God proceeded to ‘pass’ Gideon’s tests.

When my friend suggested I throw out a fleece, it just didn’t feel right to me.  I’m pretty sure that I would be instantly convinced if an angel came and gave me a message from God.  You know the angels God sent were so big and impressive that usually the first thing they said was “Fear not”, right?  This is not a normal-sized average-looking person.  I think I’m tuned in to God well enough that I would automatically believe what this huge, supernatural creature said.

It doesn’t feel right to ask God to jump through a bunch of hoops before I obey him. It makes more sense that Gideon did this because he  lived under the Old Testament covenant – he was not ‘redeemed’. Christ had not come yet and he didn’t have God’s Spirit living inside of him. 

But I do.

The Holy Spirit speaks to me and guides me into truth – if I’m listening.  God’s Word is alive and the Holy Spirit uses it to help me make decisions.  I have God’s Spirit inside of me every moment of every day – why do I need a sign?  I have found that I don’t need to throw out any fleeces if I’m regularly listening to God’s voice and spending time with him.

In my experience, God not only speaks directly to me, he also lines up circumstances around me to confirm what the Holy Spirit and God’s Word are saying to me.  There are no ‘coincidences’ in my life – that’s God guiding me. I don’t have to ask for something more – I just need to keep my eyes and ears open.  His answer is there.

Every once in a while, I hit a deadline on making a decision and I haven’t discerned God’s answer yet.  I have found that when I totally submit whatever the situation is to God – meaning I don’t care what the answer is, I just need to know what he wants me to do – he helps me organize my thoughts and I realize he’s been trying to guide me in the right direction, trying to show me the way.  I’ve just been distracted and clueless.

No fleeces involved.

Black and white.

No more questions.

Thank you, Abba Father.

What Do You Choose?

Time is the great leveler – we all have 24 hours in a day.  You and I choose how we’re going to spend these 24 hours.  What are we going to do?  How are we spending the majority of our time?  Using a Biblical term, I would say that you and I are ‘serving’ whatever or whomever takes up the most of each of our 24 hours.

A lot of us serve ourselves.  Looking out for #1.  Do I like it?  Does it benefit me?  Do I wanna do it?  Do I feel like doing it?  What’s in for me?  Oh, yeah.  These questions come pretty easy because we use them a lot.  We may not say them out loud but we use them in our decision-making.

Many of serve our debts.  We have to work extra hours or extra jobs to pay for all of the stuff we already have.  We’re upside down on cars and houses.  When we’re not working, we’re worrying about paying the bills.  The best line about our money I’ve ever heard is – “The secret in managing your money correctly is not in how much you make.  The secret is in how much you spend.”  Truth.

Some of us serve our hobbies –  like sports or exercising or shopping.  While we’re shopping today we’re planning about the next time we can go shopping.  Or we’re not happy unless we’re biking or walking or running or working out.  Or before the game we’re watching on TV is over, we’re flipping to the next channel for the next game and then the next game and then the next.

We all choose who or what we will serve.

Joshua makes this very clear to the Israelites as he throws down a challenge.  “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve… But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15.

You and I need to make a conscious choice, not just roll through our lives spending our precious time on things or people who will never give us joy, peace and a guaranteed future.  We don’t want to get to the end of our lives with hearts full of regrets and emptiness, realizing we never made a choice – we just let the world push us to a place we never wanted to be.

I have made my choice.  I have laid down any ‘idols’ I was serving at the feet of the One, True, Living God and now it’s all about him.

What’s your choice?  There’s no better time than right now to start a new chapter in your life labelled, “My love relationship with my Father God”.  You won’t regret it.

I choose you, Abba Father.

What are You Choosing?

What are you selling your life for? What or who is your top priority?

It’s a great question because sometimes we dedicate our lives to things that just aren’t worth it.  We can sell our lives to making money and spending it.  But everything we buy gets old, breaks and requires more money to fix it up or replace it. They come out with a new model and now the one we have just doesn’t look that great anymore.

Our ‘stuff’ will always disappoint us.

We can sell our lives to work and accomplishments.  We may love it but, someday, that all goes away.  We get fired, laid off or we just get old.  I retired 8 years ago which meant giving up a really nice paycheck and a lot of rewards and recognition.  But retiring also meant getting my life back.  I loved working and now I love being retired.  I’m glad I worked long and hard for over 34 years at something I loved to do.  Now I’m very happy to reclaim all of those hours in my week and enjoy doing what I want to do. One of the things I always wanted to do is write a book and I recently published a book available on Amazon, “Then I Looked Up: Losing a Child, Finding His Legacy of Love.”

We can sell our lives to relationships with our spouse, our children, our family and friends.  They are very important but they will also disappoint us at times.  It’s a fact.  These relationships can roller coaster up and down, depending on emotions – not something I can always count on.

Achan’s story in God’s Word is a warning to all of us. “When I saw in the plunder a beautiful robe from Babylonia, two hundred shekels of silver and bar of gold weighing fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them” Joshua 7:21.  Achan sold his life for a robe and some gold and silver.  It looked too good to pass up.  So he took it and hid it, probably believing he would never get caught. Not smart. He couldn’t hide from God.  After getting caught, he admitted his disobedience but that didn’t change the consequences. He lost his life for that ‘stuff’ – his entire family and all he owned literally ended up under a pile of rocks.

I hear you, God.  I’m getting it.  I don’t want to end up like that.

So I choose the path of obedience and faithfulness to God.  I know that there is no other path on earth that is going to give me the joy and peace and love that God gives me.

I choose to be ‘sold out’ to God.  And I’m 100% confident that it’s the right choice.

What is your choice?  Are you confident that it’s the right one?

Do You Need a Second Chance?

I’ve been there more than once – have you? It’s the times where I wish I had a second chance – a redo.  When my heart is aching with regret and my head is rolling with things I shouldn’t have said or things I should have done but didn’t do, I wish I could go back.

If I had the chance to do it over, I would do it so differently!

With people, there is never a 100% redo.  The deeds are done, the words have been said.  Forgiveness is possible but wiping out the memory is not.

One of my favorite things about God is that he can redeem these situations.   He can and he does make something good come out of them.  He teaches me to grow through these times – helping me mature as he molds my character and thinking.  When I ask for wisdom, he always gives it to me which helps me avoid situations where I need redo’s.

As I read about Rahab in Joshua 2, I can visualize this huge headline on it –

God’s Power of Redemption.

Rahab was a prostitute in Jericho when she met the two spies Joshua had sent into the city to check it out before the Israelites attacked.  Rahab made the courageous decision to put her life on the line for the spies when she hid them from the men the King sent to kill them.  She lied to the king’s men telling them the spies had gone out of the city so the kings men quickly went in pursuit just as the city gates closed for the night.

Meanwhile, the spies were safely hidden on the roof of Rahab’s house.  Rahab knew the Israelites were going to attack – everyone knew it and were very afraid.   When she begged the spies to save her family, they agreed because of her courage in hiding them.  Then Rahab helped them escape out of the city and sent them on a different direction from the men who were looking for them.

Later, we will read that Rahab and her family were the only survivors of the attack on Jericho.

It’s obvious that God saved Rahab for a purpose.  He had bigger plans for her.  After God saved her, she totally changed her direction, married, had children and became part of the lineage of Christ.  A prostitute was the great, great, too many greats to count,  grandmother of Jesus, God’s son, who came to save the world.

God is extremely serious about his redemption business.

Rahab’s story was obviously shared down through the generations as a popular redemption story because she shows up in the New Testament, “was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction.”  James 2:25.

A prostitute – used as an example of a righteous woman, related to Jesus.  If it can happen to her, it can happen to anybody!

God is still redeeming your life and my life today.  I don’t have to be stuck in my failures and rebellion of yesterday.  By putting my faith in what Jesus did for me on  the cross, all of that has been forgiven.  I don’t have to be weighed down by the mistakes I’m making today – those have also been forgiven.  I don’t have to be worried or afraid about the things I might mess up in the future because all of it has already been forgiven.

Today I live in grace provided by Jesus, unconditionally loved by my heavenly Father.   I am free.

I am redeemed.

Are You Up For A Challenge?

What does courage look like in my life?  What does it look like for you?

What do I need courage for?  What is God asking me to do that’s scary and out of my comfort zone?

I know God is challenging both you and me – it’s his nature.  As our Good Father, he wants us to grow and develop a strong, courageous character.  So he provides opportunities for us to be stretched.

Where does he want to stretch you?  If you can’t think of any place he is trying to help you grow, I recommend spending several hours with him as you read and meditate and listen to him speak to you through his Word.  You will come away from that time challenged by something – I guarantee it.

God presented Joshua with a huge challenge by giving him leadership of the Israelite nation after Moses was ‘gathered to his people’.  The Israelites were finally ready to enter the Promised Land and they were facing the daunting task of conquering the land.

There seemed to be a lot of valid reasons for Joshua to be fearful and worried – except God was in control.  “Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you where ever you go.”  Joshua 1:9.

Nothing is impossible for God – there was no reason to be afraid.

Have you ever had a situation that was big and challenging like this where you knew you didn’t need to be afraid because it was all in God’s hands? 

I have experienced this several times. Three years ago God told me to write a book about my journey of grief and faith after my son, David Glasser, who was a Phoenix Police Officer was killed in the line of duty on May 18, 2016. A book! I write two blogs – this one and a different one about my son and my experiences since his death. But I have never written a book. It’s a big project, lots of challenges. I was not worried – God told me to do it and I knew, if I did my part, he would make the rest happen.

And He did.

I published it on Amazon last year – “Then I Looked Up: Losing a Child, Finding His Legacy of Love”. Check it out and let me know what you think!

While I was writing the book, I experienced another situation where I needed courage and faith. A little over 2 years ago my husband passed out at a pickle ball tournament and was rushed to the hospital where they called a ‘code’ on him in the emergency room.  Every available medical staff member came running.  They saved his life that day and he had emergency by-pass surgery two days later.  Surgery was successful but he continues to have different issues with his heart – there have been many more doctor’s visits and hospital stays.

I’ll never forget my trip to the emergency room that day after my husband called me to tell me where he was. God kept speaking into my mind that He was in control, that He loved my husband, and that he everything was going to work out according to His plan. So I was not worried, I was not anxious even when I walked into that emergency room and saw my husband hooked up to a bunch of machines.

God was in charge – there was no reason to be afraid.  My being worried or scared of what was happening would not have made the situation better- it would have made it worse.  After the doctor told me what happened and how serious the situation was, I still didn’t feel afraid. God has already decided when our last days are here on earth.  If this had been my husband’s last day, nothing the doctors could have done for him would have changed that.  God is in total control.

It was a truly amazing experience to watch – once again- the reality of God’s infinite power play out right before my  eyes. Nothing was going to happen that God did not want to happen.

So I have recent knowledge of how Joshua must have felt when God told him that he had to lead the way in conquering the Promised Land and God would give him victory.  Joshua was going to have to wake up every day and courageously show up to do his part, but God was going to be with him, making it all happen.

Where is God challenging you?  If he’s asking you to do something, he will be right there beside you helping you accomplish it.

Be strong and courageous.  Experience the power of God in your life today.

Different, But Equal

I love it.

God is not limited by cultural rules.  He created justice, he is just and he acts justly.

Whenever we see God’s actions and directions not lining up with current culture, we need to take note of it.  We know that God is right and our culture is wrong in every one of these instances.  Sometimes it takes our culture thousands of years to catch up to what is right.

The historical account of Zelophehad’s daughters in Numbers 27 is one of my favorite examples of this.  I’ll just call them Z’s daughters.

At that time in history, women were considered to be the property of men and most men had more than 1 wife.  When Z died without having any sons, Z’s five daughters asked to inherit his property.

What!?

That just wasn’t done.

Women didn’t inherit property.  They WERE property.

When Moses took this case to God, God said, “What Zelophehad’s daughters are saying is right.  You must certainly give them property as an inheritance among their father’s relatives and give their father’s inheritance to them.”  Numbers 27:7.  He stipulated that they had to marry within their tribal clad so that the land stayed with in the family.  If you think about it, that makes a lot of sense since the land was physically divided by clans.  This kept everything organized as God had designed.

I bet there were many long and heated discussions by the male leaders of the families as they gathered around the campfire at night!  This story is only 4 paragraphs in the Bible but I’ll bet the arguments against doing this could fill up several scrolls if they had all been written down.

I’m sure the same concern came up that was discussed with King Xerxes later in the book of Esther.  If these women received this request now, they are just going to ask for more and more.  A dangerous trend was starting!  But we read that they made the right decision and obeyed.

It took thousands of years but – yes, women inherit and own property now.  As recently as the 1950’s women were generally considered not capable of inheriting and running large properties and businesses.  But way back in ancient times, God knew he had created women equal to men.  Different, but equal.  He set a spiritual leadership hierarchy in place within marriages that has everything to do with order and process and nothing to do with intelligence and aptitude.

And our culture has finally caught up to God’s truth in this area ….. in most cases.

Please help us live by your truth, Abba Father.