God has been seriously re-shaping my heart since I became a committed believer about 30 years ago. When I was young, I had a close relationship with Jesus but it got lost in a season of rebellion and confusion about the truth in my young adulthood. Six years of that messy time taught me how empty my life was without God. I discovered that all the ‘fun’ and partying and working extra hard for ‘stuff’ was meaningless and a dead end.
So I re-committed my whole heart to God over 30 years ago and I’ve been on this Journey toward the truth ever since.
God tells us in Deuteronomy, “Circumcise your hearts, therefore, and do not be stiff-necked any longer.” Looking back, I see evidence that God working on my heart, circumcising the parts that needed to change –
- He cut out the rebellious part of my heart. No matter what happens, my heart now submits to God’s will. He knows best.
- God cut out the stubborn part. I translate “stiff-necked” as being stubborn and God has softened my heart towards everything that is about him and comes from him.
- God cut out any parts of my heart that were unbelieving. I don’t have to understand it all to believe. If God says it, it’s true. God has taught my eyes to look beyond what is in front of me.
- God is working on the parts of my heart where I want to control things around me. Sometimes I still get anxious and worried because it’s not all going according to my plan. Isn’t that crazy? I know who is in total control and it’s not me. I continue to have to remind myself to ‘let go and let God’. I know he’s working on this part of my heart because it’s gradually becoming easier for me to recognize my lack of control early in a situation and step back – trusting God as he orchestrates everything for my good.
- My heart was shattered into a million broken, mangled pieces when my son was killed in the line of duty. I can feel God molding a new heart inside of me out of the debris. It a heart that is stronger with a better focus on my forever home.
Circumcising my heart sounds painful but it has actually set me free from the lies and worries that the world around us tries to impose on us.
And the transformation continues…..
Thank you, Abba Father.